Sunday, March 02, 2008

Mother's Day 5

The sad thing is, when your second daughter was born, I believe you turned to your husband and asked him if he was disappointed. This, despite knowing that the male chromosome couldn't have come from you. Your moment of joy at having given birth to a perfect, healthy baby blighted by the knowledge that she too, like her sister before her, is a girl. And it wouldn't have been made any easier by the 'loved ones' around you commiserating and consoling you. The progressive ones among them reassuring you with empty platitudes about a girl being equal to a boy. While desperately trying to hide the disappointment in their voices. How frustrating it must've been for you! But you handled it very great dignity and grace.

The children are grown now and what gorgeous girls they are! Beautiful, bright and spirited. I hope your initial regret at not having borne a son to further your husband's family name has since been replaced with the joy of watching your children grow. Kids are a remarkable gift. And I hope you now realise that you've been blessed. Twice over.

Mother's Day 4

Everyone else seems to know what kind of a mother I will be. 'Strict' 'Emotional' 'Impatient' 'Overindulgent' 'Lost' 'Calm' are a few of the labels now affixed to the swollen belly in which you lie and occasionally kick about in. How do they know? How are they so sure of this, when I suspect I have not even fully grasped or come to terms with what it will mean to have you?

Have you already decided what you will be like? Have you made up your mind about when you will sleep, what you will eat and on which side of the Israel-Palestine conflict your sympathies lies? I hope not. Even I haven't made up my mind about these things, though it would be nice if you got on board with my eight hours of sleep plan. If you haven't decided what you'll be like, why must I? And why do others feel the need to decide for me?

I have no idea how things will turn out. Hopefully, we will surprise each other (in good ways). Hopefully, I will understand if you don't like broccoli and not take it as a slight against my mothering abilities. Hopefully, you will not pee in my $500 leather bag.

Mother's Day 3

Look at you! Six years ago who’d have thought of you like this. A mother of not one but two children. Over the years, you seem to have come into your own as a mother. No, it has not been easy. Far, far from it. This motherhood thing is complicated. Full of guilt and full of love. Constantly reminding you of your own mortality. And forever leaving you worried – about everything from the environment to rising levels of crime. What kind of a world will they inherit?

Will they ever get to see the snow-capped mountains of Kilimanjaro like you once did? Or will it have melted by the time they become young people? Should you be spending less on plastic gifts and more on second-hand books because books can teach them more and plastic can take a thousand years to degrade? Not to mention the landfills they create. Should you limit the time they spend in front of tv? Should you return to working full-time? But did you not read the findings from a recent research that revealed that under-5s who spend their days at a crèche have impaired development? But what about the other study that was conducted the other day about how 90% mothers who quit their careers to take care of children suffer from a debilitating lack of self-esteem? See how inherently twisted motherhood is? Pulling you in opposing directions. Twisting and tossing and kneading you about as if you were chapati atta. But look at the kids now. Sitting wide-eyed in front of some rubbish gun-toting cartoon character on tv which you know they shouldn’t be watching. Would you have it any other way? Hmm?

Mother's Day 2


Have you ever sat at home all day?
Day after day?
Week after week?
Seeing only those 3 people and not anyone else?

Have you ever felt the emptiness on not being who you used to be?
Like being the star of every party?
The most popular girl in town?
The teacher everyone loved?
The one who threw the grandest parties?
The one who made dolls and dresses for little girls?

Have you ever felt completely dependent on another?
Not being able to do things on your on?
Things you could do earlier?
Like drive?
Play sports?

Have you ever known that this is how its going to be?
If not worse?
That there is no getting better?

Have you ever seen your life slip away when you've just been given the best gift ever?
Have you tried pushing away someone you love more than life itself because you think you can't take care of her?

Have you ever smiled through it all?
And still thanked God for the life he has given you?
Have you ever said 'I'm better than you' when you are at your worst?

Have you ever fought with all your might against all odds?
'Coz you love life the way it is?

Have you ever been Amma?


Mother's Day 1

Dear Mom,

You are my strength
You are my beauty
You are my love.

You had great dreams for me, yet
You let me chase my dreams for free.

You laugh our laughs
You shed our tears.
You with me, there are no fears.

You are the heartbeat of mine
You are a goddess, the whole world, dare not decline.

You hold my hands just for a while, But
You hold my heart all the while.

Thanks for being YOU, Mom!!!