Friday, June 19, 2009

If I knew then what I know now (9)

Dear 17-year old me,

If we saw each other now, you would have no trouble recognizing me. You would be polite, say a hello and then you'd be off. You wouldn't want to spend time catching up with me. Your life is brimming at the moment. There's so much to be done and not enough time in the day to do it all. You sleep for 7 hours every day and pack the rest of your waking moments with a frenetic energy. You want to stretch yourself to the max and still want more. You are shocked by the limitations people put on themselves. You cannot believe how myopic some people can be. Barely able to look beyond their own noses. What's worse, many of them are your peers. Cattle, you charmingly call them. Herd mentality. Incapable of thinking independently. I love and envy your arrogance and self-belief. Untainted by adulthood. But you know what? In a funny way, years from now, it's those very cattle you will be jealous of. For their ability to live a life that meets everybody's expectation - including their own. For being able to remain content with their lot. To not doubt themselves constantly or to chase dreams relentlessly. Some day you will envy those very people you once mocked for being so at peace with themselves. While a much older you, will fight and fight and fight every single notion that has been handed to you. Your older self will still want to explode and go forth with much of the same boundless enthusiasm you now have. And perhaps that's why you can still recognize her all these years later.

So do exactly as you are doing. Enjoy the ride!


Blogger Ms.Mephistopheles said...

This reminds ms so much of me.
And I always wonder if I'll be jealous of the 'cattle'. Maybe I will... I guess only time will tell.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Casement said...

Does sound like myself. Like it!:)

1:39 PM  

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