My Dear - 30
To S
Dear S,
I have asked myself this question for three years and played this in my head a million times but I still cannot understand why you did what you did to me. Now my heart is filled with so much hatred that I cannot even love my husband. Today I still wonder what it would have been like had you not broken my heart. I still dream on the life we would have had.
Today I sit here with the biggest compromise of my life; my marriage and I wonder why one of us had to compromise, whereas you live the life you always wanted. I wonder are you a better person than me because that’s what I have been made to believe that good things happen to good people or is my belief wrong? I am jealous of you, I wish I had your life but then I left it all for you… so that you and I could be together and today I have lost everything.
But you know all this, you’ve known for a long time you’ve just not bothered to do anything about it , but that’s ok. I just wanted to tell you that I am fine, We all learn through our mistakes and I have learnt too, I have learnt to be selfish as only selfish people survive, I have learnt that promises do not account for much in life, I have learnt that sacrifices are works of foolish people and the most important lesson never love someone so much that they can hurt you.
So at the end of this all I would like to say thank you. Thank you for hurting me so much that I will never be hurt again.
Yours truly,
-M
Dear S,
I have asked myself this question for three years and played this in my head a million times but I still cannot understand why you did what you did to me. Now my heart is filled with so much hatred that I cannot even love my husband. Today I still wonder what it would have been like had you not broken my heart. I still dream on the life we would have had.
Today I sit here with the biggest compromise of my life; my marriage and I wonder why one of us had to compromise, whereas you live the life you always wanted. I wonder are you a better person than me because that’s what I have been made to believe that good things happen to good people or is my belief wrong? I am jealous of you, I wish I had your life but then I left it all for you… so that you and I could be together and today I have lost everything.
But you know all this, you’ve known for a long time you’ve just not bothered to do anything about it , but that’s ok. I just wanted to tell you that I am fine, We all learn through our mistakes and I have learnt too, I have learnt to be selfish as only selfish people survive, I have learnt that promises do not account for much in life, I have learnt that sacrifices are works of foolish people and the most important lesson never love someone so much that they can hurt you.
So at the end of this all I would like to say thank you. Thank you for hurting me so much that I will never be hurt again.
Yours truly,
-M
posted by ammani at 8:29 AM
2 Comments:
If you don't love someone "so much that they can hurt you", you can't love them. Love as much as we want to, cannot be based on your convenience or mine.
I have learnt to be selfish as only selfish people survive, I have learnt that promises do not account for much in life, , I have learnt that sacrifices are works of foolish people, and the most important lesson never love someone so much that they can hurt you.
You will get over it. When you do (which you will), there is no turning back. You will be prepared to face the odds irregardless of what happens, cos it you who will decide on your chosen path. Not anyone else. Happy living & loving!
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