My Dear - 42

To Friend

My Dear Friend,

We both know best how we maintain this facade. Sordid
attempts at conversation, ill-at-ease gaps of silence,
when both of us search for some topic to talk on. It
wasnt always this way. A smile still crosses my face
when people mistake us for brothers or call me by your
name!!

It wasn't this way till I overlooked your sarcasm,
however caustic it was. It wasn't this way till I
looked beyond words to the 'good' I saw in you, till I
looked at the qualities I admired. It wasn't like this
too, till I left my self respect in a closet for
friendship. It wasn't this way till I tried to patch
up quarrels and say 'sorry' even when I knew it was no
fault of mine. It wasn't this way too till I learnt
from past experiences and tried to avoid anything that
you or your family did not like!!! It wasn't this way
till I realised what you secretly thought of me...
Thank God for the mistakes he lets us commit...

I was wrong in feeling that i could carry it on
forever... I cannot. Tis not because the friendship is
no longer valuable to me ever since I found a life
companion, but that I have some-one else's self
respect to worry about. I wish you could recognise the
same as I did when you walked the same path!!

Though it wrenches my heart
I cannot live this facade
The dwindling association
Is an intentional decision
To reduce the pain
That numbs my brain...

I hope you understand.. but then its too late for such
hope and to late for understanding!!!

Best Wishes .. Anyways !!