My Dear - 14
To best friend
To my best friend,
A few weeks ago when you told me that you were in an unhappy marriage and didn't love you husband - my heart broke. It was at that I realised the inadequecy of email, chat and cheap telephone rates - things that I am usually so grateful for. what was the point? You were thousands of miles away and I couldn't hug you. Take you in my arms and tell you it would be ok.
In fact, I couldn't even tell you what I really felt. That your husband was an asshole and that your motherinlaw needed a good kick up her ass. That it was time your parents stopped worrying what other people thought. That you didn't need this shit. You are wonderful. You deserve someone who loves and adores you. Who wakes up every morning realising how lucky he is to be married to you. Leave him I wanted to say. Go back to your parents take up a job.
I wanted to call him up and abuse him. Call up his mother and ask her what gave her the right to say the things she did. Tell her that her son was not proof of her being some divine/superiour soul that God had chosen to have a boy. It was just chromosomes. Nothing else. You and your boy are not special I wanted to yell.
I wanted to tell you what I would have done in your situation. Fight. Yell. Throw things.
Instead I listened. Made soothing noises. Mildly suggested you take a holiday in your Mother's place for a few months. He'll see how wrong he's been. He'll come back and say he's sorry. He'll change.
There were questions things I was too scared to ask and say. Does he hit you? Why are you thinking of having children with this person? I love you. I'm sorry.
To my best friend,
A few weeks ago when you told me that you were in an unhappy marriage and didn't love you husband - my heart broke. It was at that I realised the inadequecy of email, chat and cheap telephone rates - things that I am usually so grateful for. what was the point? You were thousands of miles away and I couldn't hug you. Take you in my arms and tell you it would be ok.
In fact, I couldn't even tell you what I really felt. That your husband was an asshole and that your motherinlaw needed a good kick up her ass. That it was time your parents stopped worrying what other people thought. That you didn't need this shit. You are wonderful. You deserve someone who loves and adores you. Who wakes up every morning realising how lucky he is to be married to you. Leave him I wanted to say. Go back to your parents take up a job.
I wanted to call him up and abuse him. Call up his mother and ask her what gave her the right to say the things she did. Tell her that her son was not proof of her being some divine/superiour soul that God had chosen to have a boy. It was just chromosomes. Nothing else. You and your boy are not special I wanted to yell.
I wanted to tell you what I would have done in your situation. Fight. Yell. Throw things.
Instead I listened. Made soothing noises. Mildly suggested you take a holiday in your Mother's place for a few months. He'll see how wrong he's been. He'll come back and say he's sorry. He'll change.
There were questions things I was too scared to ask and say. Does he hit you? Why are you thinking of having children with this person? I love you. I'm sorry.
posted by ammani at 1:57 AM
3 Comments:
Very touching letter. All of us have things that we want to tell our good friends but don't. You have captured that thought very well.
Exactly the words I have in mind and never talked out, to one of my cousins. Beautifully written. There is just this one little caution of "am I being over-protective?" that prevents me from saying it all and the eternal optimism that "it probably isnt that bad as my brain is projecting!"
So girls, open up more clearly to your friends and cousins!
To the letter writer,
I am sure you are reading the comments posted. Your best friend it too precious to be scared of supporting her and asking questions. Support her to the hilt and please be vocal. All the best to both of you.
Post a Comment
<< Home