Friday, August 04, 2006

My Dear - 12

To Sweetheart


I don't know how to say that I love you, without both you and me getting uncomfortable and not knowing what to do next. Me - I'd like to hug you and kiss you, but there are some invisible barriers that I do not know how to break. And perhaps you'd like to do the same, except you'd like me to do it first... because there are invisible barriers for you too.

When you used to mail me, signing yourself as "love, p", I thought you really did. And I did too...
Anyway, after some time we stopped signing our mails that way. Then we stopped sending mails altogether. Then we stopped meeting. Then you fell in love with another guy. That didn't work. You married yet another guy. That isn't working out either.

It's not your fault, sweetheart. We were both kids, and I let you go because I thought you'd be happier that way. It kills me that you're unhappy now, but it also kills me that there's nothing I can do about it.

I don't know what I should have done or what you should have done. All I know is that everybeat of my heart is yours, and I will never let you be unhappy again, if I could have it my way. This I swear.

If my life means anything at all, there will never be a day that you feel you're any lesser than anyone else on earth.

But.. I have a favour to ask of you - could you sign your mails "love, p" again? Even if you don't mean it?



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